Emotional Extortion !

"I am quite afraid that I may not be alive to see your marriage, and those ensuing joy filled moments.", Says Grandpa with a frowned face.

What do you think, a responsible grand daughter could reply ?
Will she say, "I don't need to bother about your death bed wishes, live as long as you wish but do not push me for experiencing a nuptial knot ?."

Most of the grand daughter's mind voice would be echoing the above phrase.
However, they do not, can not have courage or ironical heart to convey the rough response through their mouth.

Because, it was those withered skins which held them up in the air while the girl's parents' were busy making money for their future days.
It was those impaired ears, which acted sharp and swift for the calls,
"Thathaa !!! cockroach!!! in my room. come save me..."

and  so the very same anemic limbs of now ran fast to save his angel from the clutches of minute cockroach by then.

Such pressures blows within the body of the girl who is at her early 20's,
pounds through heart, mind and everything.
Firstly, she asks for some time, she says she needs much more time to understand herself and whether she is capable of handling the aplenty roles coming aboard as a home maker, working woman, perhaps as sister in law and mother in law.

Such circumstances holds a plethora of views and opinions.
To the parents, its about perfect timings, better families, and matching astrology.
To the senior most people, it is a question of witnessing a extravaganza, overseeing the transformation of baby stepping in to a bigger school of womanhood.
To the family, it is a time to have fun along with the 'long time no see' family members.
at times, it is also all about the display screen for the family, for portraying their caste's potential to the public for wooing the neighbors with ecstatic foods and receiving with dazzling outfits.
'One day match?'

But to the girl, her only concern should be and will be  "Will I be living the life I wished or my family's ?."
Heart would regret for not satisfying the wishes of people who held her up and cared her like an angel.
On the other hand, it buzzes her like she has missed some of her individuality to lead a life she wished.

Among the abnormalities, adding insult to the injury....
Saddened father and burdened mother might say, "Do you think we will bring worst stuffs for you?"
and continues ...
'It will be us to standby you at all times.
Trust us, we will give you best and we know what you need and when you need.'    

-Words would be strong, since they are genuine. No one knows whose mistake it is, was that too much of love ? or was that too much of expectation to ask for some time???

All of a sudden, she will get a call to rush home soon, only to see a bunch of men and women dressed up so well, waiting to see her face, alike the way a family goes for picking a car in a showroom.
This part of procedures, I do not know 'How to term it. ?'

Arranged marriages are certainly enjoyable provided the pair along with family is at no urge.
Arranged marriages can be adorable, provided the hearts were not force fixed but attracted alike magnets.
Here, I do not understand why no feminist stand up to oppose the forced marriages for an educated and well settled woman.
Instead of sharping your weapons against men and few animals all the time, why don't you educate the educated families ?
I do accept, such stuffs cannot be imparted from outsider.

Emotional blackmails were there and are there...
When do these moms gonna understand that blackmails can not always necessarily earns an happy ending as they had ?
At least, guys arriving to pick the girls alike the bike models should able to understand the feelings of the woman. There can be no great torture than mental agony to satisfy family, future family and self.

It is so sad to say that forced marriages are almost like prostitution, only difference is former is legal and latter is not. Former is recognized by the society but latter is not.
But few women ending up their lives and dreams with forced marriages or prostitution have an identical source of originating back from their FAMILIES.

Dear families,
Women do have some dreams, they might wanna contribute their families.
They have the dreams to buy their brothers and sisters some beautiful stuffs, they might have some wishes to tour with their friends.
Perhaps they may have some deep desires to continue their friendship even after their respective marriages.
They may feel that they are not yet ready for the knots.
They may feel insecure to step in to a man's life...

Those fears and dreams cannot be quenched with your compromises and emotional extortion.
those brainwashes cannot wash away the stains encountered by two disinterested hearts.
Neither an astrologer can. Not to forget, many guys of today's society equally suffers the outcome of forced bonds, in such circumstances gender is no matter of discussion.

Let the fruits ripe themselves...
Do not blackmail with feelings, do not confess your wishes aka pressures over the creature caught between the transformation of girl in to woman.
It would be great, if you support your sister, friend, or cousin to sustain the pressure as that of encountered by a pressure cooker. There should be hands to wipe the tears vented out as an outcome of emotional extortion.


  1. I shud say dis is one of the best posts i hve evr read on your blog,, stark truth that every woman has to face and is least voiced about , come what may is ur inspiration to write this post, that has did justice to the plot

  2. @The madrasi That was one of the best comment i ever had :) Thank you !

  3. Very good thoughts, worded well too!

  4. Reading you after a long time Deepak--is it you or i who has been lazy.You have chosen a nice topic but i do not agree with the prostitution bit.Nowadays parents do not force their child into an unwanted bond even when the marriage is arranged.This is true of urban educated families .In rural areas too,girls are finding their voice though of course there are dark pockets too.

  5. Good one boss.. Really it depicts the modern society that is filled with educated fools.

  6. So true, happens everywhere! I had seen such marriages, but, luckily, though girls feel frustrated and sad in the beginning of such bonds, later, they tend to adjust and live happily!

    //All of a sudden, she will get a call to rush home soon, only to see a bunch of men and women dressed up so well, waiting to see her face, alike the way a family goes for picking a car in a showroom.
    This part of procedures, I do not know 'How to term it. ?'//

    This is termed as "ponnu paakra function" :P

    A doubt, you write serious posts also??

    I didn't laugh when I read this! :( Instead, I felt sad, thinking, "God, this might happen to me very soon..." :P

    Good one! :)

  7. @indu chhibber haha both of us are busy with our works jee :)
    Thanks a lot for coming again !

  8. @Kanmani Rajan koluppu !!! i do right serious posts :D Let me know if such stuffs happen to u, then there comes a funny post :P

  9. Great words..Literally brought tears to my eyes. Forced marriage, which many have not understood in your post, stands for emotional blackmail and bonding the girls with marriage. You post truly resonates with the actual picture of today. Ask those girls who were asked to get married because some grandparents wanted to see her grandchild, some parents said she is causing embarrassment by not getting married, some relatives kept poking that the girl is ageing and so on...Ultimately the girls give in to their wishes..

  10. Good topic. But nowadays parents are not forcing.In fact society is facing scarcity of girls for marriage.
    Emotional blackmailing is in all relationship I think.

  11. A hard truth! There is no solution to this until "girls" realize it and come out of it!

  12. My grandmother always say this! And my grandfather died in Mai. I miss him so much :/ I can't believe yet...
    I liked your text a lot, and there is no solution to many things... Like we miss the people ):


  13. a mirror about the world we choose to accept or choose to ignore!!!

  14. Now this touched my heart. A man understanding the true emotions that a woman goes thru. Rare do men even try. And one more thing...not related to the post....YOU WILL MAKE AN AMAZING FATHER TO A LOVELY DAUGHTER. I had to say so!

  15. @shilpi3005 Thanks a ton, intentional of post is just to vent out my opinion. By knowing that the post has brought tears for a reader, i just do not know what to say. Thanks a lot again.

  16. @vidhya There is no solution unless family members realize what they are bringing for their blood. Thanks vidya !

  17. @vidhya There is no solution unless family members realize what they are bringing for their blood. Thanks vidya !

  18. @Ranjana's craft blog Good point je, every relationship has some emotional blackmail but this stuff is quite venomous than rest !

  19. @Elvira Lobo(Elli)Glad to see you back here after a long time ! Mirror ? yes it seems so !

  20. @Red Handed haha... are you yelling at me ? those capital letters ? :P
    Thanks a lot, i felt PRETTY good after reading your comment. Thanks for your wages !

  21. Great post as usual DK .... right on all accounts !! However the emotional extortion is not limited to only this aspect of life and sons also succumb to similar tactics by various family members!!!!

  22. Very True. Emotional Blackmail might work for the time being, but people do not realize that they are harming the life of someone in future, when doing things against the wishes of the individual.

  23. Karthik, that's so awesome! I mean that was so timely for me (well, you posted it long back, I read it today).. This is like so true, every word of it. I wish my mom reads this.


Thanks a Ton for your words :) Keep visiting :)